Giving It All

We Oregonians have been battling widespread wildfires for the last week. So many people have been evacuated from their homes – many will be returning to piles of ash. It has been a time of shock, of grieving, of reflection. My childhood home, where my family still lives, is in one of the evacuated areas, with the fire creeping to within 1/2 mile. All we could do was wait and watch and pray.

I went to worship the Lord and pray a few nights ago. At first it was difficult to know how to pray. I felt like it wasn’t right to simply ask for our family farm to be spared. As I pressed in to the Spirit, the story of Abraham and Isaac in Genesis 22:1-18 came to mind. It goes like this:

“After these things God tested Abraham and said to him, ‘Abraham!’ And he said, ‘Here I am.’ He said ‘Take your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love, and go to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains of which I shall tell you.’ So Abraham rose early in the morning, saddled his donkey, and took two of his young men with him, and his son Isaac. And he cut the wood for the burnt offering and arose and went to the place of which God had told him. On the third day Abraham lifted up his eyes and saw the place from afar. Then Abraham said to his young men, ‘Stay here with the donkey, and the boy and I will go over there and worship and come again to you.’ And Abraham took the wood of the burnt offering and laid it on Isaac his son. And he took in his hand the fire and the knife. So they went both of them together. And Isaac said to his father Abraham, ‘My father!’ And he said, ‘Here I am, my son.’ He said, ‘Behold, the fire and the wood, but where is the lamb for a burnt offering?’ Abraham said, ‘God will provide for himself the lamb for a burnt offering, my son.’ So they went both of them together. When they came to the place of which God had told him, Abraham build the altar there and laid the wood in order and bound Isaac his son and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. Then Abraham reached out his hand and took the knife to slaughter his son. But the angel of the LORD called to him from heaven and said, ‘Abraham, Abraham!’ And he said, ‘Here I am.’ He said, ‘Do not lay your hand on the boy or do anything to him, for now I know that you fear God, seeing you have not withheld your son, your only son, from me.’ And Abraham lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, behind him was a ram, caught in a thicket by his horns. And Abraham went and took the ram and offered it up as a burnt offering instead of his son. So Abraham called the name of that place, ‘The LORD will provide,’ as it is said to this day, ‘On the mount of the LORD it shall be provided.’ And the angel of the LORD called to Abraham a second time from heaven and said, ‘By myself I have sworn, declares the LORD, because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your only son, I will surely bless you, and I will surely multiply your offspring as the stars of heaven and as the sand that is on the seashore. And your offspring shall possess the gate of his enemies, and in your offspring shall all the nations be blessed, because you have obeyed my voice.'”

Abraham left a legacy of saying yes to God, even when it seemed like God was asking a ridiculously high price. Can you imagine sacrificing your child? But Abraham trusted the character of God, and he chose to say yes even when he didn’t understand how things would work out. He knew that God would be good to him and provide for him. And he marched right into something that must have felt excruciatingly difficult – God took him right up to the edge before showing all the cards. Abraham obeyed. He agreed to sacrifice the thing most precious to him, believing that God would be good.

As I considered Abraham, I felt the Lord asking me to agree to sacrifice. To agree to let him have the family farm if he chose to take it. To believe that no matter what, he would be good and that he would provide. So I gave it to him in that moment. And as I handed it over, a deep assurance rose up in my spirit. I was never assured that the land or the houses would survive the fire. But I was assured that whatever happened would be amazing, and I could walk fearlessly and passionately into it.

In the end the fire never touched our farm, although it came so close that we were all prepared for loss. God saved it and other places we love in some pretty miraculous ways. And I am thankful for the trial because there is a trust in my spirit that is more solid, fearless, and radical than it was a week ago.